Recognising Our Behavioural Patterns

Updated: Feb 23

Hello, my beautiful friend,

I am sat here listening to the gentle hum of the world arising around me, the sea gently sipping at the shore as the rain tap, tap, taps on the window sills. The scent of Frankincense oil permeating the air around me as coffee brews in it's rich, dark liquidy deliciousness in the French Press.

I had a long leisurely soak in the bath earlier followed by meditation and jade egg practice, all of which felt delicious and nourishing on many levels.

Our internet connection continues to be a little intermittent, hence missing posting a blog yesterday, fingers crossed this one uploads!

I am curious as to how you may be spending your day? Do you have specific plans or going with the flow? Do you have work and family commitments to tend? And have you scheduled yourself some 'me' time?

I was chatting with a friend yesterday about how we can often get stuck in patterns of speech, behaviour, action and conversation. Particularly with our significant other.

Have you been aware of this in your own life?

For example, you find yourself and your partner talking in a well-worn loop of habitual interaction?

Around and around you go, one says and does this and you do or say that in response, it can go on for years with nothing changing, a roundabout of dissatisfaction or boredom. A roundabout of unresolved 'stuff' to be cleared and transformed with love and awareness.

I have found using pattern interruptions a great practice to deal with this, particularly in repetitive, emotive and triggering conversations.

But actually in all areas of my life.

For example, I was walking along the beach last week and realised that I had created a mental loop in following the exact same part of the path, which is pretty unconscious behaviour.

In recognising that I had gone into a behavioural pattern, I had a choice, either continue, but with more awareness and consciousness or course re-direct, by stepping off that particular path and explore myself and the world in a different way.

Which of course is what I did. I approached the beach from a different angle, hopping over new rocks and finding wild plants I hadn't noticed before, and therefore discovering myself in and with the environment in new and profound ways.

In doing so I created a new relationship to the world immediately around me.

When we get into conversations, psychological, emotional or behavioural loops with our partners (or our children, for example) then it is our duty, if we want the dynamic to shift, to be more self-aware, to become conscious and recognise what we are doing.

When we feel into what we are creating and how we would rather be communicating then it empowers us to choose again ... and ideally to choose what love would do.

We can create a pattern break by shifting our body, our language, or our state to allow something new to emerge through us.

So when you find yourself in a habitual bun fight with your lover, you can soften, move your body, shift your tone, create stillness, ask for some time out to gather your thoughts, run your wrists under cold water, jump up, dance and shake it out, or use humour to charge the conversation in a new direction as you connect to your heart and the heart of the 'other'.

Now we are in the realms of conscious communication and creating a new dynamic of relating that is healthier and may just reap the results we are seeking.

We can discover and express ourselves deeper more measured and loving ways and hear and receive our partner with an open heart and the intention to move forward with greater understanding together.

Let us co-create a life we love through conscious heartfelt communication.

This means releasing our egos and desire to be right port have our own way.

It means developing our capacity to see beyond our selves.

It means radically transforming our relationships to self and others.

Do you use pattern interruption in your own life?

What results have you had from doing so?

Or are you willing to give it a go?

This brings us to today's lesson, lesson 119, which is a review of two previous lessons from A Course in Miracles, 'Truth will correct all errors in my mind' And 'To give and receive are one in truth'.

"In quietness are all things answered, and is every problem quietly resolved."

- A Course In Miracles

With my love,

Charlotte xx

P.s if you would like to know more about the personalised mentoring package I offer to support you through the changes you are experiencing in life, click here >>

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